I just clicked on a friend's link to his "appearance" on a podcast called something. Let's say it's, uh, The Super Unfunny Comedy HOUR on Audio and Yes You Will Listen To It Because I Said So Show. It's a long title, I know, but the show is an hour and it deserves a long title.
I listened to 10 minutes before I realized it was a whole hour long. A FREAKING HOUR. OF LISTENING. My friend was very very funny, but most of the 10 minutes were monopolized by the host who was let's say for the sake of brevity, "meh."
Jeebus, folks. I don't have an hour to LISTEN to something unless it's read by, i dunno, James Gandalfranakis or some such celebrity and had a goddam narrative arch. I surely don't want to listen to an hour of the guest never getting a word in. That said, the co-host has a very pretty laugh, like wind chimes on a spring evening. It made me think about my laugh, which is like an elderly fat man with pants up to his moobs falling in a pile of shark's teeth to which he is allergic and then has a sneezing fit resulting in the witnesses to the catastrophy being covered in emphysemic snot and phlegm with NYC soot and threads of blood mixing with the regular yellowgreen color.
Then I saw that the SUCHOAAYYWLTIBISS Show has a freaking BOOK out. ON AN ALMOST REAL GODDAM PUBLISHER.
I know, I'm getting like Ed Anger mad here but I got a fever (literally, not the "for the flava of a pringles" type) and waddya gonna do.
I'm sure some of you are like, "Meh, I like these people because I know them personally" and some may even be like "I enjoy this show and its inexplicably long running time and yes even the pseudo-archaicness of the radio experience via podcast." OK, fine. Others are probably like, "dude, man, do your own 10 minute show and stop complaining." I know, My CAT could do it, and people would listen. She'd have on local celebrities and friends and she'd let them talk a little but mostly she'd ask them to describe her incredible beauty and if they missed something she'd yell, "I'MA GONNA SMAKE YOU WITH MAGAPAWS." and then there would be laughter and applause.
And others are like, "Dude, man, we've been telling you for YEARS that you should write a book."
Yes, but all those things take work. OK???
Also, I can't spell today. Catastrophy? that's totes incorrect!